It’s Always Sunny In The Space Colonies Episode 2: The Gang Gets A New Member

Shiro: “What’s up bitches!”

The Gang gets a new member title card

Duo: “Dad? What the hell are you doing here?”

Shiro: “My boy, I have terrible, terrible, awful news. Well your whore of a mother is in Space Cancun with our pool boy, getting her pool cleaned if you know what I mean.”

Duo: “Ew, dammit Shiro, why are you so gross. Beside I thought you guys were divorced anyway.”

Shiro: “At least not legally, but I filed today with our lawyer. Boy she’s going to get double fucked.”

Duo: “Dammit Shiro, stop it.”

*Kou is still screaming gato in the background with Chibodee trying to calm him down.”

Shiro: “What the hell is wrong with that guy?”

Duo: “Oh, don’t mind him. He’s pissed because some guy is with the girl he likes.”

Shiro: “Poor bastard, I know that game.”

Duo: “What? You hate mom.”

Shiro: “Why do y’all have Space Bats?”

Duo: “Oh, Chibodee over there got all hyped up on beating up on some Zeon soldiers.”

Shiro: “I miss that.”

Duo: “Beating up Zeons?”

Shiro: “No, being trashy. I need that in my life again, a fresh start. I never wanted to be a business man, your whore mother turned me into that. I want that wild ride.”

Duo: “Shiro, I hate to tell you but you’re old.”

Shiro: “Age is just a number, I am going to get weird.”

*Shiro walks over to Kou and Chibodee*

Shiro: “you guys want to go to a strip club? I am down and Duo is being a punk bitch.”

Chibodee: “Yeah he does that some times, I am super in! TNA all day!”

*Chibodee begins chanting TNA all day. Kou is still murmuring about Gato.”

*Shiro, Chibodee and Kou arrive at the Space Tiddie Bar.*

Chibodee: “Hey honey, can my boys get some loving? Ones been getting screwed around on and the other is suffering a broken heart.”

Stripper One: “Aww poor babies, Star Dust, come over here.”

Star Dust: “Whats up Star Light (Stripper One)?”

Star Light: “These guys have a bad case of the blues, lets help them out with that.”

Star Dust: “Aww poor guys, would a lap dance help?”

Shiro and Kou: “Yes!”

*Shiro and Kou end up getting lap dances while Chibodee ends up getting hammered on Space Miller Light.*

*We cut to Duo on the phone with Cagalli who went to case her boyfriend Zack after the gang tried to jump them.*

Duo: “So dad just busts in bitching about mom and the pool boy. Then he takes off with Kou and Chibodee to a strip club.”

Cagalli: “Yeah Duo, I don’t care. I am trying to stop Zach from leaving because you douches tried to kill them with bats.”

Duo: “Oh come on, that was Chibodee, I didn’t do anything.”

Cagalli: “You were holding two bats, why would you be holding bats if you weren’t going to attack Zach?”

Duo: “You know what, I don’t need this, I don’t need you accusations. I’ll handle this dad situation alone, Cagalli you stupid bitch.”

*We cut back to Shiro, Kou and Chibodee walking down the hall way with the two strippers from the tiddie club.*

Shiro: “Ah man, I have missed this!”

*Kou and Chibodee slow down, giving them room to talk without Shiro hearing.*

Chibodee: “So hows this going to work? There’s only two of them and three of us.”

Kou: “Well I mean Shiro and I kinda need this more.”

Chibodee: “Nah fuck that guy. Come on, me and you buddy.”

Kou: “I don’t know man, he really to be feeling it tonight.”

*By this time Shiro has come into Kou’s unlocked apartment with the two strippers.*

Chibodee: “Ah what the hell!”

Kou: “Maybe he didn’t lock the door.”

Chibodee: ” Shit! he locked the door.

*Kou and Chibodee start walking back to the bar.*

Chibodee: “Man this is some bullshit, how could he do that to us!”

Kou: “I mean you were thinking about ditching him.”

Chibodee: “That’s different.”

Kou: “Looks like another night of sleeping in the bar.”

Chibodee: “Stupid Shiro, stealing our, wait. Did you just say you slept at the bar before?”

Kou: “Yeah, well I mean, you haven’t got too drunk when closing and just slept?”

Chibodee: “No, I have never done that, like ever. You can’t do that Kou. You still have to go home to shower right?”

Kou: “Uhh, yeah thats what I do.”

*Kou and Chiobodee sleep in the bar.*

*In the morning Shiro and Duo arrive at the bar at the same time.*

Shiro: “Boys, I had a revelation last night as I was balls deep. I am going to live with Kou.”

Kou: “Wha, wait, you’re what?”

Shiro: “Listen, I felt more alive last night than I have in the last 30 years. I need that in my life, I don’t want to be a corporate drone anymore. I am done with being a soulless husk.”

Kou: “I guess man, I mean i don’t really have a lot of room or a bed.”

Shiro: “That’s what I want, I miss that dirty, gritty life.”

Chibodee: “Wait you don’t have a bed?”

Shiro: “I’ll pay your rent.”

Kou: “Done!”

 

Scenes

Shiro comes into the bar

tells duo he caught the mom cheating with the pool boy

 

 

 

 

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Spam Vs Promotion: How To Share Your Content Without Becoming A Pest

For content creators, regardless of platform, we want to share out creations with the communities we are apart of. Unfortunately, this sharing does rub some people the wrong way. So how do you share your creations with people? I am glad you asked.

First we need to look at why you are sharing content. If your goal is to grab some quick views, I am sorry to tell you that you’re in it for the wrong reasons. People will call you out and you WILL get banned from certain groups, especially on Reddit. If you genuinely want to share your creations with a like minded community, you are heading in the right direction.

Next lets consider the type of content you are sharing. Some platforms are great for sharing photos, videos and text posts, but not all of them. Try to work with the platform the best you can. For example, Facebook is great for all type of links, but posting videos or long text posts on the site typically yields less than simply putting the link to an external source.

Now let’s actually talk about what you can say and do when sharing a post. Simply putting a tag like “Check out my new review!” or “Please watch my video” will come off lazy. It is. The text you post with a promotion should have the same care put into it that your content does. Try giving people a reason to engage with your content, asking a question or putting forward a thought invoking idea.

Next we need to look at what platforms you want to share on. Some platforms are more stringent than other, and the last thing you want is to get banned from a group. Knowing the platforms rules, guidelines and preferred content is also incredibly important. Let’s start with the most understanding platform.

Facebook is a great place to share your creations with a community that will appreciate it. The sharing guidelines will differ from group to group but overall the communities are receptive to genuine sharing. Be care though, over sharing or spam won’t help you build a community around you. There is a fine line between self promotion and excessive spam. For example, for Work In Progress pictures are fine but do not post them every day, even if you make progress every day. A good rule of thumb is try not to regularly post more than 3 times a week, at least for promotional purposes. The best way to really work with Facebook is to actually be a participating member of the community in question. Once again, even here, people will call you out or ignore you for spamming their groups looking for views.

As previously stated, knowing the rules isn’t the only thing you need to know. There are social expectations and just general preferences audiences have. Think of the type of interaction a person would expect from each site or service. Think of comparing Best Buy and Walmart. People going to Best Buy typically have questions and want answers, people going to Walmart want to be left alone. Facebook is great for a lot of surface level exposure and contact. That’s not to say that you can’t have really good conversations, but most of your action is going to simply be link clicks or likes. This is part of the reason that I recommend people link to external sources, IE Youtube or a blog, people aren’t typically looking to get into a lengthy piece of content, this is why Facebook uses the 3 second and 10 second view insights. The platform and culture of the general audience there isn’t going to want to jump into a 5 + minute video or a text post that requires them to click see more. The people who would want to would be just as likely to click a link, its a win win. They get to see more of your content and you get more traffic to which every site.

Now, Instagram is pretty similar to Facebook with a few exceptions. First, even with IGTV, video is still not a huge part to working the gram. Unless you can cram your content into a segment that’s less than 30 second, don’t bother with video. Instagram, at least for me, is somewhat in a vacuum. I have never really had great conversion so I don’t really promote on there, the only thing I mention is the full photo albums I keep on Facebook. Once again one has to consider the audience on this platform, most people are looking for an even more surface experience then they would on Facebook. Comments are typically more rare, although not absent from the platform.  This isn’t a bad place to run ads but it is defiantly not a platform to start a large conversation.

Now the one to be the most careful with.  Different sub Reddits have different rules but almost universally they are a lot touchier about people posting without being an active member of the sub. I cannot stress this enough, you will get a life time ban super fast.  Being a more active member of the community helps, but people on Reddit get really upset really fast. With that being said I have had a fair amount of success with converting from Reddit. Now like I said, you really need to be active here. Facebook is a little more forgiving about it but Reddit mods will actively keep track of your promotion to activity ratio. This is really where the most people, per capita, are looking for in depth content. This is also a great place to get meaningful feedback on your content.

 

The Rewatchening: Gundam SEED Episodes 1-10

Before I get started there are two things I would like to mention. Episodes 9 and 10 are a shit show. We get the first of several WTF Kira screams, sounds like a weird dying creature and then we get the whole Lacus Clyne Incident. I’ll explain that in more detail later.

Now most of us have watched SEED at one point or another, with some remembering it fondly and others not so much. There is defiantly a lot to this show that kinda ages poorly, the HD Remaster is nice looking but the dialogue is really teen aimed. Makes sense for the audience it was aiming for but several of the conflicts arise for little to no reason other than teen angst.

Starting out is fine, the first episode is what you’d expect at this point, war, teen super genius and giant robots. The first Athrun/Kira special moment comes at the end of this episode showing us again that these dudes are bros from way back.

The next episode we see the colony start to get blow the fuck up. Makes sense, following the whole, lets make an update 0079 Gundam show. This episode brings us the first of many Kira “Jesus” Yamato moments. He reprograms the Strike’s OS in like 30 seconds, in mid battle with a Ginn. Now, he was a programmer unknowingly working on the OS for these machines anyway but still, Jesus moment. We get some pretty decent fights and over all its pretty good.

Episode 3 continues the colony fuckening really hard. Of course to not upset the teens watching the show, almost everyone made it to escape pods, yay! Kira also doesn’t accidentally kill his dad like Amuro did. So big explosions without death, but thats not really a big deal.

The next several episodes follow the “oh no, we are being chased in space” formula. We see as the first of reused shots to fill action scenes. SEED is pretty infamous for this, especially later on when beam spam starts happening. Also the Earth’s sphere military is filled with dicks. Very similar to the 0079 Luna 2 situation of the different countries military being all shady.

Now to the Lacus Clyne incident. The inclusion of Lacus on the Archangel leaves the officers with many face palms and some questions about the existence of locks in this universe. First this gives the writers an excuse to make Flay even worse, at first she is just useless and then gets racist. Next we see that the locks on the Archangel apparently weren’t build. Lacus literally just opens the AUTOMATIC NONLOCKNG DOORS. How is this a thing. When Kira tries to mount his rescue attempt Lacus just blows their cover, inconspicuous af my dudes. This whole nonlocking doors situation is probably the reason Kira doesn’t get locked up after running off with Lacus.

Probably the best part of the first 10 episodes is when Kira goes all Newtype and fucks up Yzak’s face. Yzak is such a douche canoe, at least Char was likable, although he isn’t really designed to be a Charclone. He’s kinda like the guy that thinks he is Kira’s rival but Kira doesn’t really know he exists. That is something this show really nails at certain moments and totally fails at others, the characterization of the extended cast.

Yzak, Dearka and Nicol aren’t awful but they are pretty much cardboard cutouts of bad high school stereotypes. Yazk is the quarterback hotshot that thinks he can do whatever he wants, Dearka is his less popular friend that backs him up no matter what and Nicol is the sensitive kid that gets picked on by Yzak. Kira’s supporting cast isn’t that much better. The officers one the ship follow teacher stereotypes, with the mother, the cool guy and the hard ass. Not that these are bad but this makes their choices really predictable.

Before I round this out I do want to point out that this series has some really great designs over all. Future clothes make little sense but all of the other designs are really nice. All of the mech designs are awesome and most of the ships. The Ginns and Cgues are awesome grunts that give that meneciing Zaku vibe while still being different enough  to be unique. The main five Gundams are pretty good as well, the Strike and Duel are similar to each other but still really cool. I did notice that once Yzak gets the Assualt Shroud for the Duel the actual armor isn’t Phase Shift. Kinda off but oh well.  The Archangel is still one of the best ship designs in all of Gundam, in my humble opinion.

Outside of that Flay is a super space racist, getting Kira into some shit and of course Kira is like nah, it’s cool cause I wanna smash. The power of boners even infects Coordinators. Anyway, those who say Flay is best girl should just stop. Flay is worst girl and Miriallia is best girl.

 

Space Detectives: Episode 1: Bright Slaps For Days

*We open to a large cityscape that pans out to the large formation of a colony wall. The shot continues to pan out into the vast expanse of space and then the logo hits*

*Also insert a catchy piece of licensed music for added effect, your choice.*

Space Detective Logo

*We open to a bustling police station, with a slow zoom into the police captains office.*

Captain Bright Noa: “These god damned space papers saying I am some sort of immigrant. We’re all immigrants, we live in fucking space. Plus they try to make me out as British, whats with that? like what the hell, am I right?”

Detective Amuro Ray: “Uhh Sir, are you talking to me?”

Bright: “Oh shit, what are you doing in here again? Sorry, you aren’t really that important so I forgot you existed.”

Amuro: “You, umm, wanted to see me to, uhh, assign me a partner.”

*Amuro trails off*

Bright: “Ahh, yeah about that, I kinda have my hands full with this whole being British thing so let’s just pull a name from a hat.”

Amuro: “Uhh sir, I don’t think that’s proper procedure.”

Bright: “Amuro I swear to god if you fight me on this I will slap the good god right out of you!”

Amuro: “Uh sir I don’t think that’s proper either.”

Bright :”That’s it, come here!”

Amuro: “Oh no, I am sorry sir, we can do the hat thin…”

*Bright slaps the bejesus out of Amuro for being a lame bitch who thinks he’s above the time honored tradition of pulling names from a hat.*

Space Detectives Thiumb 1

Senior Detective Char: “Ha, you got your shit slapped.”

Amuro: “What are you doing here?”

Char: “I came here to laugh at you.”

Bright: “Ah great, Char you’re a life saver. This little shit has been non stop all morning about a new partner.”

Char: “Wait what?!”

Bright: “Really taking a bullet for me pal, this might make me forget about all those assault charges the Zabi family filled against you.”

Char: “Sir, no offense, but what the actual fuck, I hate this guy. All the offense in the universe meant to you ass hat Amuro.”

Amuro :”Now hold on just a minute here i…”

*Bright cuts Amuro off*

Bright : “Char if you don’t do this I am gonna slap you so hard you’ll end up a beat cop again working the Lubbock block.”

daylight desert drought dry
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Char: “Not there, all that dust, all the lack of people and entertainment….. Fuck, fine I’ll take him on, but if he ends up shot don’t come whining to me.”

Amuro: “I don’t consent to this, I need an adult!”

Char: “I am an adult. Now stop being such a whiny little bitch and let’s go, unless Captain Bright needs to slap the bitch right out of you again.”

Amuro: “Oh, no I am good, let’s go.”

*We cut to Amuro and Char at their desks*

Char: “Does that green ball of stupidity have to follow you around everywhere?”

Amuro: “Well, uh, does that poopy attitude have to follow you around everywhere?”

Char: “What are you like 12? who says poopy?”

Amuro: ” I’ll have you know I’am technically 16. ”

Char: “Wow, okay.”

*A call comes in about a murder at the Lunar Ladies Landing Club.”

Char: “Whoooa, we are so on that call. Let’s go little kid.”

*Char and Amuro pull up to the Lunar Ladies Landing Club, a space strip club.*

Amuro: “Uh Char I don’t think I am allowed in there.”

Char: “Come on kid, we are here to investigate a crime, not look at the strippers. But if the opportunity arises.”

Amuro: “Char I didn’t know you swung that way.”

Char: “What?”

*Char and Amuro walk into the club to find out that its a male strip club for the Ladies to land.”

Char: “What the tits, this is not what I was thinking.”

Amuro: “Apparently it’s a chain, we had them on Earth and Side 7. Both my parents really liked spending a lot of time there. I think that contributed a lot to my childhood trauma.”

Char: “Yeah whatever, shut up.”

*Char starts to interview the bouncer.*

Char: “So let me get this straight, you, the big strong bouncer, couldn’t stop a 5′ 3″ 100 pound lady in a bear onesie?”

Bouncer: “Yes, that is correct, I thought she was a real bear.”

Char: “You thought this small lady was a literal bear?”

Bouncer: “Yes, that would be correct, a 100% genuine bear.”

Char: “Alright thanks, seriously what the fuck, we don’t even have bears here.”

Amuro: “Technically that’s incorrect, we uh, have several different types of black bears as they were originally native to Texas. ”

*At this point Char has walked off.*

*Amuro starts looking at the crime scene while internally screaming as he remembers the trauma of his mother and fathers many trips to the Lunar Ladies Landing Clubs.*

Amuro: “Haro can you analyse these blood samples and these cucumbers. There’s a buffet here but they don’t have a salad bar. I wonder where that…came…from….”

*Que kill bill siren sound with Amuro’s face as he realizes where the cucumbers came from.*

Amuro Kill Bill

*Amuro hears a lot of flash backs of thoughts about his parents loving cucumbers and melons, but never actually remembering them eating those fruits.*

Haro: “Amuro, Amuro, the blood sample is a mixture of the deceased male stripper and the suspect. The suspects name is Frow Bo, the murder weapon was a super potent form of Space Viagra.”

Char: “Wait, did the little green Wilson just say that the male strippers was drugged and the drug blew up his junk? Why was there traces of the suspects blood?”

Haro: “Crime scene reconstruction estimates the blood shot out from the suspects nasal cavity.”

Char: “So she got a nose bleed after spiking the stripper’s drink and his wang thang literally burst from blood?”

Haro: “Correct.”

*Amuro snaps back out of his trauma induced state.*

Amuro: “Great work Haro, let’s uh, go track down our suspect.”

Char: “Finally, you don’t sound like such a little bitch.”

*Char and Amuro track down Frow Bo at another male strip joint.*

Char: “Alright, here’s the plan, we bust down, guns a blazin and bust a cap up in this bitch for being a boner blasting terrorist!”

Amuro: “Uh, Char isn’t the Captain gonna get mad if we do that? Let’s um, try to, you know, bring her in peacefully?”

Char: “Shit, you’re right, Bright will slap my shit if I get one more complaint about liberal firearms handling. Fine, we’ll do this the kindergarten, bitch boy way.”

*Char and Amuro walk in to find Frow Bo getting a lap dance from a rather well endowed gentleman.*

Amuro: “Miss Frow Bo, we are going to need you to come with us. We are detective with the Colony of Texas Space Police Force.”

Frow Bo: “That’s cute, they sent me some cop strippers as well! This one seems a little young though.”

Amuro: “Frow thats not cool, you’re only like two years older than I am. I am trying to impress my new partner.”

Frow: “Oh Amuro sweetie, thats adorable, your partner is pretty cute though, I dig older guys. Plus I wouldn’t be doing this if you have just put out.”

Char: “Whoa didn’t think I’d be making connections…. Wait no, your going down, I mean we are taking you in. WAIT, Amuro you didn’t hit that?”

Amuro: “I guess I am kinda bad at picking up on that stuff.”

Char: “Frow was he always this lame?”

Frow: “Yeah, he’s always been a huge lame loser, but I still want that a piece of that sad, lonely, emotionally scared, teen angst ridden man.”

Char: “Wow, Amuro what in the ass is wrong with you? No wonder you parents are super disappointed in you.”

Amuro : “God dammit Char, I swear to god I have years of repressed trauma that I will literally rip you a new asshole! Let’s just book this bitch and be done with it!”

Frow: “Amuro, how dare you! How dare you not do this before, it’s turning me on.”

Amuro: “Shut it Frow Hoe, let’s go!”

*Amuro and Char book Frow Bo for accidental penial explosion, all the while Frow Bo keeps talking about how much she likes the handcuffs.*

Captain Bright: “Char and Amuro, my office, now!”

Char: “Shit.”

Captain Bright: “You did well, but I am still gonna slap the shit out of both of you!”

Char & Amuro: “Why?”

Bright: “Because I am the Captain and it’s my god given right! Plus you brought that crazy harlot into my building, my dick is now at risk and I am not comfortable with that.”

*Loud, hard Bright slaps occur.*

 

 

Gundam Thot Patrol: The UC

We all have a favorite girl or guy in Gundam, we all have those we hate, but whos’s really a basic ass bitch? Let’s find out who the Thots of Gundam are.

First we gotta go way back to UC 0079, to the Dawn of the Thot.  Tem Ray, Amuro Ray’s father. Now usually most people assume thots are ladies only, but fuck that, equality y’all. Tem ray is a huge asshat, leaves his wife on earth, takes their son, who he doesn’t pay attention to to space and ends up getting killed. Not only all that but he also had a side piece called the V Project. Come on, we all know what that stands for.

Coming out of 0079 as well, we have Lalah Sune, playing both sides, Zeon and Federation. She wanted a piece of the Red Comet and the White Devil. Her double bone zone ambitions ended up killing her. The double bone zone, or more commonly known, the danger zone, was formally named by mister Kenny Loggins.

The only one of this list that doesn’t actually show up, she too busy tricking, comes from deep space in the year 0079. That bitch B.B. from 08th MS Team, Michael’s lady for awhile. She an unloyal, basic ass bitch.

Moving into the 80’s, more notably, 0083 with Nina Purpleton. This sloot starts getting Koa’s poor, stupid brain all excited only to tell him that she boned his arch nemesis. To be fair though, Koa kinda makes that way too big of a deal, stealing a Gundam is a little more important than macin on the chick you like. Also fuck Koa, he is dumb.

Fast forward a little to 0087 and we meet the Bidan family. Kamille may end up being the main character but his parental units are some thot ass bitches. His dad especially, and no I didn’t bother to look up his name cause fuck that guy. He was plowing a side piece and generally being a douche canoe. His mom never said she had an affair but she was much like a Tem Ray, too focused on work to have a partner or take care of her kid. I mean she named him Kamille for god’s sake. We also have miss Beltorchika Irma, the second thot to chase after Amuro Ray’s heart and D. She isn’t around by 0093 so we can asusme that she went another direction with her tricking heart.

Everyone in ZZ is a thot. Even Bright Noa for holding that chicken, you know what I mean. By far the worst offender is the Zeta Gundam with the Zaku head. What a sloot.

Next we journey to 0093 when Char is thoting it up hard. His heart is still with Lalah but he is banging Nanai and tricking Quess. His heart belongs to one, his D to another and his fake ass emotions to another. The lord thot has come. The power of boners can apparently crash a giant meteor into the Earth.

Char the Thot Tongue

 

To round us out we have 0096 with miss Mineva Zabi, or Audrey Burne. She uses a fake name, manipulates Banagher into helping her and almost thought about marrying Riddie. It all works out in the end but Mineva girl you a trickin ass bitch. She ain’t the only one though.

Riddie Marcenas is a big old fuck boi of the grandest order. This fool risks his very stable military career to rescue a chick that he intends to marry for political purposes. after telling her main squeeze that he’d take care of her. What a lying douche nozzle.

The Gundam Thot Patrol will be making its rounds of the entire Gundam franchise so watch out Gundam SEED, you triflin ass show.

 

The NewType Crowd: Episode 1: When Kai Met Sayla….And Amuro Was Also There

*The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and a smile a mile wide is stretched across Sayla Mass’s face as she approaches the Musai Monofeatured Business Building. This building houses the bright future she believes she is heading towards.*

Sayla: “There is literally nothing that can bring me down today! This is the single greatest moment of my life!”

*Little did she know her undoing would be just around the corner*

Char: “Move bitch, get out tha way, get tha way bitch, get out tha way!”

Sayla: ” What on Eart…”

*Char is coming up fast behind Sayla, listening to his favorite song on his favorite bright red racing bicycle. Char hits Sayla and just keeps on going.*

Sayla: “What the shit! Oyi, didn’t you see me walking here! Get back here so I can shoot you in the dick!”

*Char doesn’t hear, he just keeps listening to some rad beats.”

*Sayla has now torn her stockings and scuffed up her knees. Her hair all tussled and her once chipper mood now gone, she puts away her gat and forges ahead to sign the papers cementing her new position as head of a major department in the Aznable Corporation.*

Sayla: “I am here for an interview with Mr. Aznable.”

Receptionist: “Ah yes, he just came back, please head up to his office.”

*Sayla heads to the elevators and ends up meeting the douche on the bike that hit here.*

Sayla: “Well, well, well, would you look at this, a right prick who hits people while out on his morning ride about. What kind of tosser doesn’t watch out for people huh? What department are you in? I can’t wait to tell your superior!”

*The elevator dings and lets them out, both head the same direction and end up in the same office.*

Char: “So, who are you and why are you in my office?”

Sayla: “I am Sayla Mass, I am here to sign the paperwork for the department head position.”

Char: “Ah yes, my god, you look awful. Why would you come into your first day of work looking like that?”

Sayla: ” I am sorry sir, you knocked me over on your bike on my way in.”

Char: “Nonsense, that’s ridiculous! My very heavily tented sun glass helmet thing keeps my vision super clear! It’s like it’s perceptually night, especially during the night time!”

Sayla: “Oh, I see, you just didn’t see me. I am so sorry about what I said on the elevator.”

Char: “You said something?  I make it a point to not listen to any of my subordinates, almost ever. Plus I had in my new Zeon brand Zaku Pods, like Apple Air Pods but not as expensive. You see I am a very frugal man, I never spend more than I have to, which is why you are here.”

Sayla: “Sir?”

Char: “On your application you put down a much lower amount for desired salary. Works out great as I need a new department head for our IT department.”

Sayla: “Ah yes, IT.”

*Cut to the IT department where Amuro is seemingly alone at his desk.*

Amuro: “Pew pew, bang, pew, pow.”

*Amuro is playing with 1/144 High Grade model kits from Bandai, featuring designs from Mobile Suit Gundam.*

Amuro: “I’ve got you now you filthy space traitor!”

*Amuro slams two model kits together.*

*Cut back to Char’s office*

Char: “Yes, IT. You know, computers, internets, emails. Can you handle that? Doesn’t really matter to be honest, for the salary you asked for.”

Sayla: “Yes, I know about many computer, uh…. parts.”

Char: “Great! Let’s head down to the IT department.”

*Char & Sayla head down to the IT department. Sayla thinks the whole way down that Char looks oddly familiar.*

*Char & Sayla walk into the very ratty looking IT department.*

Char: “Aaron and Keith! Come out here and meet your new department head!”

*Amuro pops up from under his desk, model kits in hand and Kai comes in from the break room.*

Kai: “Um Mister Aznable, what are you, umm doing down here?”

Char: “As I said Keith, this is your new department head, Samantha Mast.”

Sayla: “Uh, hi, yeah my name is Sayla Mass.”

Char: “Yes, Samantha Mastif. Anyway get use to each other!”

*Char leaves.*

Sayla: “Does he do that a lot?”

Kai: “What? Forget peoples names? Yes, he has been calling me Keith for the last three years. My real name is Kai, Kai Shiden. Thats Amuro Ray, he’s a little busy.”

*At this point Amuro has vanished since Char left the room.*

Amuro: “VVVVRRRROOOOOOOMMMM!”

*Amruo from the break room into the main office area holding up a model kit, making it seem like its flying.*

Sayla: “Mother of god, what have I gotten myself into.”

 

The Journey To Understanding: Turn A Gundam

Like many in the Gundam community, I have never finished Turn A Gundam, not from a lack of trying mind you. Over the last eight or so years I have tried to watch it two separate times and only made it a few episodes in. Yes I am a pleb. However I decided to give Tomino’s last gift of Gundam another shot. (I don’t recognize G-Reko, Fight Me)

I have decided to do this every 10 episodes and, well, here we are.

One of the things I actually liked about Turn A, in concept, was that Tomino had originally wanted to make the protagonist a female pilot. Sunrise was like “Oh, Hell No” and Tomino was all like “Gurl, I do what I want”. Needless to say Sunrise got their way technically. Tomino created Loran Cehack, the most gender neutral Gundam protagonist ever. I say this because not only do many people in the show take him for a girl regularly, but he also goes under cover in drag. 5688-1266370686

He’s totally a dude.

This brings my to what I like to call Tomino’s War On Loran’s Junk. It only happens twice, but this poor dude gets his junk attacked by knee into fish toy into junk. Then he smashes the boys by landing hard on a plane. Just watch like the first four episodes.

All jokes aside, Turn A suffers from what I like to call the “Man In The High Castle Syndrome”. In its simplest of forms, it means that the setting is way more interesting than any of the characters. That being said, at 10 episodes there isn’t a ton of development pushed into anyone yet. But fan art gets hella pushed.

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Drawn by Flick-Float

Damn, he sure is pretty.

Also this guy is a Bee.

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Harry Wants To Smash

Overall, I don’t feel really driven to continue for Loran, but more to see how a pre-industrialized world deals with a civilization of humans from the moon with dope ass moon tech. Think like pre-WW1 people fighting Celestial Being. The designs are growing on me but I am still really turned off by most of them.

Laura is best girl, Sochie is worst girl, fight me.